Our students

I came to the Open Book through the Probation Service. After being recalled to prison, the Probation service didn’t quite know how to “manage” me and needed to demonstrate some effort at “rehabilitation;” so I was sent down to Goldsmiths to meet the team at Open Book. Needless to say, I was full of apprehension. I’d been under the scrutiny of the prison system and Probation service, where mutual distrust is the established social relation; living in a cynical state, lacking motivation to initiate any activities because of the likely response “no”, and Probation considering you a “risk” from the outset, that it needed to sit on until it’s jurisdiction had expired.

I can clearly remember my first day at OB – the animal lover wanting to hug me, D.A. with his crazy stories and Goldsmiths´ very own Del Boy rushing off in his usual flamboyant style to attend a discussion about football hooliganism! Immediately I felt comfortable, finally amongst people who I could trust, as I knew they wanted the genuine best for me. As my involvement with the OBP grew, I learnt that I could truly be myself: I could admit my mistakes and realise my failings and there was no recompense to pay! Falling off the wagon wasn’t met with a note in a file and a referral to some functionary but put into context as OBP was there to help you get back on. If you were being pushed to the ends of your tether by authority and felt like lashing out – OBP was there to help you channel that energy into something productive and realise the bigger picture.

To the outsider, members of the OBP would be bracketed under the classification "socially excluded" but this belies the complex and diverse nature of its participants. Arguably the OBP fields a body of students much more diverse and representative of society than most Undergraduate courses up and down the country. Not only did we have the mixture of races and religions that is typical of south London; Londoners and those that have made London their home - But the age range of participants was one of its notable strengths – as hot-headed youth mixed with elders seasoned by colourful and meaningful life experience. The reasons we had become “socially excluded” were in themselves diverse; from those that had had trouble with The Law and authority, to troubles managing drink and drugs. However, many had neither the aforementioned troubles – but possessed perhaps one of the biggest problems that affects working class people: low-self-esteem and issues of confidence. They believed, or had been taught to believe, that their interests, efforts and abilities weren’t valuable, and that The Arts, or Higher Education was not for people such as themselves. Together with the OBP they were demonstrably able to disprove this stereotype. Whilst in such circumstances you think such a diverse mix of challenging characters could be volatile and prone to conflict, with the Open Book it was to the absolute contrary. We respected and identified with the values of the OBP and this gave us as a sense of solidarity.  Not only were we able to work on ourselves, but learn from others.

The Open Book Project did me the very best and I have nothing but the fondest memories of the people I met and the things I experienced throughout my participation. It has permanently reframed the concept of education in my mind from a compulsory activity for school children, to what I now consider a lifelong vocation of human and social development and betterment. After a year or two with the Open Book I needed to spread my wings – the Project helped me to arrive on an Undergraduate degree at a Uni on the south coast. Three years later, and to the delight of not only myself, but my friends, teachers and mentors at OBP I graduated with the First. Now I live abroad, work in education myself and speak three languages. I have lifelong friends from OBP, and they had gone on to study their own degrees, travel, settle down, get married and find work. When I look back on life, especially since my adolescence, in terms of education, I can count the people that mattered on my fingers, and half a hand is taken up by the Open Book. In very difficult times I had their consistent support, the space to express myself and explore my own ideas and all these years later I have nothing but respect and admiration for the people who lifted me, and so many others, up when we needed it.

My recovery with Open Book over this past year

I came to Open Book in Chatham in January 2024. I had a history of alcohol misuse and when my wife of 21 years died, aged 59 (in 2018), I resorted to old behaviour to cope with the emotional pain of bereavement. I spent the next five years drinking and very nearly died on more than one occasion. Eventually my family told me that my way of coping with bereavement wasn’t working, and I needed to try a different way – their way. I moved to Kent to be with family.

Having been moved to the Medway towns, screaming and fighting, I realised if I wanted to keep sober (I had just been discharged from a detox) I had to build a new life for myself. I made a long list of things to do to help me stay sober. This list also included things to keep me busy – activities I had previously enjoyed doing or had always liked the idea of doing. Sitting at home watching daytime tv was killing me – I always ended up drinking.

I went back to AA, joined a church and I also found River (known locally as Open Road) in Chatham. They are a charity who support people in their recovery from alcohol and drug misuse. They do this by offering activities to help people engage in their recovery. These activities include relapse prevention groups, mental health support, mindfulness (meditation) and Open Book among many others. I asked what Open Book was and was told it was a project from Goldsmiths University taking higher education to people and places who would not normally have either knowledge of, or access to, higher education.

Over twenty years ago I had graduated as a mature student and trained as a school teacher. I spent 10 years teaching at an Inner London secondary school. The idea of getting involved in higher education really struck a chord in me – adult education was on my list of things I wanted to look at. But looking for courses that interested me had led nowhere – almost everything I found was either work related or skills based. I want to stretch my mind for no other reason than to challenge myself academically. I don’t want qualifications or employment – I’m retired. And while I’ve enjoyed woodwork and similar activities in the past, I need mental stimulation in my recovery. Open Book sounded perfect – academia in an informal setting.

I turned up at Open Road when Open Book were there and met some of the team. I found that the team had an empathetic understanding of problems around addiction, and recovery from it’s devastating consequences. I immediately felt at ease and was enabled to engage. I was introduced to the idea of an EPQ – an Extended Project Qualification. Initially I was fired up by thought of engaging in academic thought, research and writing after so many years. I started to research a project but bumped up against two barriers. One was that I had forgotten even how to walk after five years of abusing alcohol, and I was now trying to run. I found I couldn’t do it easily anymore, I have to work up to it. The second was that in building a new life for myself I was probably the victim of my own success – I was so busy I had so little time to actually engage in the project.

Open Book didn’t immediately become a closed book to me, they understood how it was for me and opened other avenues for me to explore. One of Open Road’s volunteers had been running a creative writing course, but this ran out of steam and stopped. I talked to Open Book about the loss of this activity, and they stepped in to fill the void that had opened. And then the magic started for me…

I have written professionally throughout my life: reports, policy, academically, newsletters, minutes, content for websites, etc. but rarely for pleasure. When I retired from teaching it was suggested I write as it was thought I was “good at writing” (my father’s family were all in newspapers and I’m supposed to have inherited the trait). I tried writing some “opinion” pieces, but I wasn’t comfortable doing it and I never enjoyed it. It didn’t last. I enjoyed the creative writing at Open Road before Open Book, but it didn’t inspire me to carry on in my own time away from the classroom. As soon as Open Book started their sessions it felt different and exciting. My first prompt from them was “It’s a sunny day, then there’s a thunderstorm with rain pouring down. Something unexpected arrives in the wind”. I wrote a page and a half and for the first time ever I let my imagination take me to places I didn’t know I had inside me.

I had been going to Open Book’s creative writing for some months before I started to date my writings. My first dated writing is dated 12th September 2024. It’s called “Moving On” and I wrote it in the kitchen of my London house as the removal company were emptying the house to put the contents into storage. I would never have believed that writing would be my emotional response to this momentous moment:

Moving On - 12 September 2024

It’s midday on Thursday. I'm standing in my kitchen, in my home of 26 years. A house full of joyous memories: a loving and loved wife, raising two boys of jobs and careers (too many to count here), of heartache, alcoholism, universities, recovery, neighbours, achievements, retirement and finally a death, more alcoholism and loss of two lives.

The removal people are marching in and then out with our lives, tools, memories and nesting materials. But am I sad to close this door? No. If you had asked me six years ago, I wouldn't even have understood the question. I was going to start afresh here, be strong and build a new but different life for myself.

But I couldn't, and I thought I was just not strong enough. I hid from my future in a bottle well aware that the bottle wasn't just making my problem worse, it was my answer to the problem. I tried to deal with the booze. I got to AA, churches, recovery units, rehab. But I also had too many involuntary visits to A&E and detoxes. I spent sober time with family, but I always came home. And soon after, with the best intentions that alcoholics are all too familiar with, I picked up and all my work was gone.

I've been sober with my son and his family (both in their house and in lodgings near by) for nearly a year now. Selling my house has taken almost all that time. I suddenly found myself talking about it in the past tense – where did that come from and why?

Because I had managed to get myself a life, an identity, friends, recovery and respect of and for me. The house had become a millstone and was stopping me from having a home in my new life.

Today I am moving another step towards that. I'm sad I'm leaving a home with so many mainly positive memories. Why is that tile broken? I'm the only person in the world to know. But my memories are mine for life. I'm happy to be moving on.

I’ve written in different styles, trying out what I like or don’t like. I’ve tried straight forward stories, alliteration (all the words start with the same letter), nonsense rhymes, fantasy poetry, descriptive and even written about my feelings and emotions. I’ve moved on from a simple story, I’ve moved on from my pain and feeling sorry for myself and am discovering a me that has been hidden all my life. Where it will take me I don’t know, but I’m up for the ride!

Here’s a taste of what I’m writing now:

The Flub - 1 January 2025

Strimmer stush was our pensive,

It sat in the garden, bathed in festive.

It was a friendly flub, was our stush,

Meek in its finery and bold in its brush.

It waited patiently for its hour, never knowing why,

It sat, knowing only when to un-sit and reply.

And reply our flub did, using its own squitches,

It un-sat, paused and opened its riches.

And what a reply, what a veritable store within,

Pies by the gallon, pops by the plethora, feathers by the bodkin.

Grumbles of gravy with floating lardines,

and quavants and chustards ozelling with treams.

Life wasn't just for living, life was for feeling, loving and being... whole,

To sit and watch was wrong – to be and do was all.

Our flub turned back to us, it's grin was wide,

It seemed to invite us "Come inside, come inside".

We opened the window onto our dream in a daze,

But when we got there all we found was mayonnaise.

To want, to hope, to yearn for: all are precious,

To hold, to own, to no longer yearn is just... hocus.

Thank you, Open Book.

I believe that I was first introduced to the Open Book programme around 2018. This summer it will be seven years since my initial introduction through their Creative Writing taster.

The facilitators Fiona (Taylor) and Susan (Hallissey) help to encourage an open, accepting, supportive ambience. There is a caring, warm, and very welcoming atmosphere in our sessions. There are other classes on Tuesdays, Thursdays & Fridays. For example there is a monthly editing session in which we are introduced to many varied authors-and their writing styles. Ways of Improving and developing our work is also provided. On a Friday every fortnight there is a Book Club. We frankly discuss the book we are currently reading.

These three sessions help me to enjoy my week to which I eagerly look forward.

I started attending the open book creative writing class towards the end of 2024 and have found it to be a lovely welcoming relaxed environment where we are free to share our work in a safe non-judgmental space which is conducive to creativity.

The tutors are professional warm and friendly, and the exercises and themes are designed to encourage imagination and to explore options, genres and ways of looking at things you may not have considered before which I've found to be extremely helpful and as a result have become more confident with my writing both at class and at home.

I have been attending Open Book classes for 7 Years and through all of this time on subjects I have been interested in but, never had the time to pursue.
Through Susan Hallissey and Fiona Taylor's guidance and opening the door wide, I am now able to pursue more. Warm, Friendly and interesting...Joseph Williams

A monologue from ‘Plays Session’ Prompt ‘The End’